Sunday 5 October 2014

But Its Got A Chip...The Tard Apocalypse

Hi there...

     I'm going to go on a work related vent here for a minute or seven.  Don't get me wrong, I love my job but sometimes the level of technological and human WTF I have to deal with during my night shifts would test the patience of a saint.  Or as I've come to call it, The Tard Apocalypse.

     I've probably mentioned this, but our debit machines aren't chipped which means the customer has to swipe their cards.  It's not rocket science, but seriously, do I need to break out the crayons and draw up a visual aid? The phrase: "Stripe down towards me and swipe it" has rendered a few customers into deer caught in the headlights looking sheep waiting for the border collie (that would be me) to tell them what to do. "But its got a chip...".  Here, take my hand sweetie, I'll walk you through  this.  Women get it right away, I rarely have to correct them, but men? Good grief.  I could say it two or three times, then just take the card and do it myself.  Until I tweaked the wording just a little bit..."Stripe down towards me and swipe it" became "Strip down towards me and give it a swipe." Holy crap, works like a hot damn.  At the same time their head snaps up in a "Did I hear her right?" kinda way, they're flipping the card around and swiping it the way it should be.

     Sometimes I get the really special customers who ignore the stripe and swipe request and just starting trying to jam their card into the card reader slot thingy which, by the way, has a little sign sticking our of it with the words "Sorry, card reader not available"  Yet that...special customer...tries to jam his card into the reader demanding to know what's wrong with my machine, and why won't his card fit.  Now, most of the time I can keep a civil tongue in my head.  Sometimes, comments that should never leave the confines of my brain pan go waltzing out my mouth and I reply with probably way too much sarcasm, "Can you read?"

     It's the same out at the pumps.  There is a diagram right next to the card slot showing how to properly insert the card, can't miss it.  If after four tries and not getting anywhere, just for shits and giggles, flip the card around and give it a shot.  That would be the logical thing to do right?  Most times that does in fact happen and all is well with the world. Other times, the intercom goes off and an irate customer wants to know what's wrong with my pump.  When I explain that we're not chipped and how to insert the card, the question is "Where does it say that?" O_o "Um...on the diagram right next to the card reader...directly in front of you."  And there is absolutely no way you can say that without getting a dirty look shot at you from across the lot.

    
Speaking of out at the pumps, I had this moment: 
     The guy uses his debit card out at the pump, then realises that the nozzle won't reach his vehicle so he hangs it up-before pumping the gas-to move his car closer.  Hanging up the nozzle cancels the sale, which means no money was taken off the card and the process needs to be done again.  Did I mention that NO MONEY is taken off the card because the sale is cancelled?  Ok, so the guy moves his car closer to the pump and goes through the motions of setting up the pump again.  After going through said motions five times, and getting the error prompt, he's stoking across the lot.  He comes up to the counter and just looks at me with an expression of...the only way I can describe it is...petulance. He then proceeds to tell me I owe him four dollars, because he had to hang up the nozzle and move his car closer to the pump.  Did I mention that hanging up the nozzle cancels the sale? Ok good.  I explain this to him and he's shaking his head and reiterating that I owe him four dollars and he wants his money.  I then informed him that if I did in fact owe him four dollars my till would have told me that and I would have refunded said four dollars.  he insisted that his card was authorised for four dollars and when he tried it again after moving his car closer, it wouldn't work, and therefore I owed him four dollars.  I then explained that because he used his card at the pump, any money  owed to him, would've gone back on his card that only instore debit transactions for gas require you to come back for any money.  This is where the patience of a saint thing comes in.  Throughout my explanation, he is shaking his head at me and responds with "You owe me four dollars." I said I didn't and that the problem was with his card because he cancelled the sale by.  Hanging.  Up.  The.  Nozzle.  "Then I want the receipt" he says.  Now its my turn to stare..receipt for what? He wants a receipt that shows the sale was cancelled.  I can't give him a receipt because there was no transaction recorded because he cancelled the sale.  "Then you owe me four dollars" I replied, "No, I don't." He comes back with "Really?"  I had tried six ways to sunday trying to explain how and why I didnt' owe him four dollars and honestly, if I tried one more time, bad words would be said. So I just said I didn't know how else to explain it except to say that no, I did not owe him four dollars.  The petulant look came back and in a huff he headed for the door.  As he opened it, he gave me that squinty eyed I-hate-you-look and said, "Have fun robbing other people"  It was my turn to say "Really?" Though in hindsight, I probably shouldn't have laughed as I said it

*Intercom Buzzes*

     Me: How can I help you?

     Customer: Why won't the nozzle fit into my car?

     Me: Does your Sunfire take diesel?


          I find it odd and kind of sad that I actually have to say, "No, the air is free."

Ok, thats better...and that is all


    
    
    

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