Human Nature

Hi there...

     I'm a people watcher. Not in a creepy, boil your bunny kinda way, more like in a student of human nature kinda way. That and I like messing with people. A lot.  The quickest way to throw people off their game?  Make eye contact, smile, and nod at them. Random people, for no reason at all.  Now, most people will smile and nod back, albeit after a flash of confusion crosses their face.  Some will just look at you as if wondering what you're ulterior motive is and I've actually seen a mother shove her child behind her as i passed.    Then there are those who stare at you like your parade is missing a float or two, and walk on by shaking their heads as though you have pierced their personal bubble with malicious intent.  

     Then there's the wave.  I have had so much fun with this one.  I like to use it in when merging into traffic, mainly to appease the traffic gods.  Wave enthusiastically at a random person from a distance, and after the cocked head, furrowed brow and confused glance over their shoulder, nine out of ten people will wave back.  Then spend a good chunk of time trying to figure out who the hell you were.  My work is done.

     Over the holidays, I wore reindeer antlers.  Oh, I could have gone with the traditional Santa hat, but antlers have so much more potential.  For example:  My sister and I went to the mall to do some christmas shopping  and as soon as I got out of the car the antlers were on my head.  She tried giving me the "you should act your age" speech, but I just laughed.  I'm wearing antlers.  Why on earth would I act my age? So into the mall we went; every adult who saw my antlers, smiled at me and every child who saw them, pointed and made a comment about "Woodolph".  Then there is the added bonus of innocently addressing the guy who is staring at the antlers on my head and saying, "Excuse me, would you stop staring at my rack please?" then watching the internal fight as the eyes try not to go from staring at one rack...to staring at another.

     There are times, mind you when I swear that there's a sign over my head that says "Freaks and weirdos talk to me!"  and the whole making eye contact and nodding to someone comes back to bite me in the ass.  Or it balances the karmic scales.

     I was on the skytrain once, going to visit my grandpa.  When I got on, the train was almost full, but i managed to find a seat and shove my backpack under my feet after pulling out my book.  As I began to read, for some reason I happened to look up and make eye contact with a guy at the other end of the train, and as I am wont to do, I smiled and nodded.  Mistake.  He looks back and jabs a finger right at me and yells "I dont trust you for a second!"  Oh. Crap.  So I immedeatley drop my head back to the pages of my book, hoping it was jsut a random occourence.  Nope.  Few minutes later I glance up to see where I am, and dude has moved halfway across the car towards me, and is staring right at me.  So casually I grab my backpack, shove my book inside and am ready to get off at the next station even though I have no idea where I am when the hair on the back of my neck stands up and glancing up, I see dude standing on the other side of the glorified sneeze guard of glass by the doors, staring at me like I'm some kind of zoo exhibit.  The last thing I want is to be the reason this guy has an embarrasing conversation with the paramedics because he got shitkicked by a skinny blond girl...Thankfully, he gave me one last baleful glance and got off the train and I stayed assault charge free. 

     Life is too short to walk around with your head down, only paying attention to what is right in front of you and not seeing the world around you.  Get on a crowded elevator, make eye contact with everyone and ask "I guess you are all wondering why I gathered you all here today"  I have, and I guarantee you will bring smiles to faces, make days brighter, and plant the seed of mischieviousness into at least one brain.  Stand on the corner of a busy intersection and just look up.  That's it.  Just stand there for maybe five minutes looking up with a quizzical expression as if you can't quite figure out what you are looking at.  Within two minutes, you will have people slowing down to look up as they pass by, and within five, you will have at least one person who has stopped to look up trying to figure out what you are seeing.  As soon as that one person stops, cross the street and watch.  When I did it, I had two people stop and by the time I had crossed the street and watched from the oppoaite corner for less than five minutes, five people were looking up. 

     Untill next time my friends, take it easy...or any way you can get it.  That is all.... 

    

    

    

Welcome to my world

Hi there....
     So my BFF has been encouraging me to do this blog thing.  Apparently I'm not as in touch with technology and social media as I could be.  Now, I'm not saying I'm "new" to social media...I can check my email, Facebook doesn't scare me anymore but the other stuff;  Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, I dont know.  Here is a picture of my coffee.  I am drinking coffee.  This is my opinion of the coffee.
  
     Then there's the whole technology thing.  We do not get along.  At. All. For example, I have literally made computers shut down by touching them, my iPad will stop working randomly and I am CONVINCED my phone either doesn't like the frequency I run at, or its possessed by a perverted 12 year old boy. I mean, I typed in "McDonalds" and the autocorrect changed it to "McPadonkadonk"...I've never used the word "Padonkadonk" on my phone. I know how to use technology, I just dont think that technology likes me...

     But hey, I'm willing to give it a shot. My BFF has never steered my wrong (damn her sense and logic!) and she thinks this blogging thing will be a good arena for my rants.  I do like that. Ranting, raving, carrying on, or as I like to call it, aggressively expressing my opinions and observations. It's all in your perspective.

     Since we're on the subject of technology, I work in the retail/service industry and I have been working in this industry since the time before scanners or debit machines, when using your credit card involved physically manipulating an archaic machine and carbon paper. When the debit card came along and its technology, I had a front row seat in watching people adjust to using plastic and punching numbers instead of counting cash. Some people took to the change rather well, others had to be dragged kicking and screaming into this new realm of technology. First it was the stripe swipe...

     "Stripe down facing me and give it a swipe"
     "No, the other way please"
     "Thats backwards Sweetie, please try again"
     "Now you got it upsidedown"
     "Here, give it to me..."
     "No Sir, you won't be charged three times for this transaction because I had to swipe your card   three times. Yes, I'm sure" Sigh....

     Then came the chip cards.  Advanced technology, streamlined, the bugs worked out. Nopenopenope. Let me tell you, P.O.S does not mean "Point Of Sale" to me....

     "Just slide it into the slot"
     "No that's the wrong way"
     "Actually, you pulled it out too soon, now we have to start again"
     "Just stick it in and leave it. Don't jiggle it or pull it out until I tell you I'm done with it"
     "Ok, now you can take it out. Thank you"

     And of course I couldn't have this conversation with a guy between the ages of 20 and 30 without it going completley sideways. Sigh...

      What's next down the technological pipeline? After scanning your purchases, do I scan the barcode on your arm? Or do you simply press a fingertip onto the little screen until it beeps? Whatever shape it takes, I'm pretty sure there will be more than a few "deer caught in the headlights" looks as I take their proverbial hand and walk them through it. It's not a job, it's an adventure!

    
     So Welcome To My World firends, and until next time, take it easy....or any way you can get it. That Is All...